Oh, how I miss going to see Dr. Adorkable. Neither one of us was any good at pre-exam small talk. Together, we made a conversational black hole.
Dr. Adorkable comes into the room for a follow-up appointment. I am in my follow-up exam uniform (that is to say, pants-less and covered from the waist down with a white paper sheet). I am sitting cross-legged on the exam table, reading. Dr. Adorkable, being both a sweetheart and a gentleman, decides on some polite conversation before beginning what is always an uncomfortable exam.
DR. ADORKABLE (eyeing my Kindle): So, what’re you reading?
ME: Uh, Pride and Prejudice . . . And Zombies.
DR. A: And . . . Zombies. . . ?
ME (mortified and wondering why I didn’t just lie): Yuh.
DR. A (valiantly tries to salvage what should have been a totally safe topic of conversation): Huh. What’s it about?
ME: Oh, typical Jane Austen: the Bennet sisters trying to find husbands. And . . . slay the undead by decapitating them with their Japanese swords.
DR. A (horrified, eyebrows raised to the stratosphere): Huh. Is it, um, any good?
ME: Well, Elizabeth Bennet is a little more bloodthirsty than I would have expected, being, you know, English and all, . . . but it’s a good read. A bit gory.
DR. A: I’ll, uh, I'll have to check that out sometime . . .
DR. A’S FACE: Small talk is soooooo overrated.
The exam itself was almost a relief after that.
No comments:
Post a Comment